| whispering love Imagine that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. One day, long ago, the Martians, looking through their telescopes, discovered the Venusians. Just glimpsing the Venusians awakened feelings they had never known. They fell in love and invented space travel and flew to Venus. The Venusians welcomed the Martians with open arms. The love between the Martians and the Venusians are magical. They delighted in being together, doing things together and sharing together. Both the Martians and the Venusians forgot that they are from different planets, and supposed to be different. And one morning, everything they had learned about their differences was erased from their memory. And since that day, men and women have been in conflict.
The most frequently expressed complaint women have about men is that men don’t listen. Either a man completely ignores her when she speaks, or he listens for a few beats, assesses what bothers her, and then he proudly puts on his Mr. Fix-it hat and offers her a solution to make her feel better. No matter how many times she tells him that he’s not listening, he doesn’t get it, and he keeps doing the same thing. She wants empathy, he thinks she wants solution. The most complaint men have about women is that women are always trying to change them. When a woman loves a man, she feels responsible to assist him in growing and tries to help him improve the way he does things. She forms the home improvement committee, and he becomes her primary focus. No matter how much he resists her help, she persists, waiting for an opportunity to help him what to do. She thinks she’s nurturing him, while he feels he’s being controlled. Martians value power, competency, efficiency and achievement. Their sense of self is defined through their ability to achieve results. Achieving a goal is very important to a Martian, because it’s the way for him to prove his competence and thus feel good about himself. And for him to feel good about himself, he must achieve these goals alone, by himself. To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn’t know what to do or that he can’t do it on his own. Men are very touchy about this, because the issue of competence is so very important to them. However, if he truly does need help, then it’s a sign of wisdom to get it. In this case, he will find someone he respect and talk about his problem. Talking about a problem is an invitation for advice. Another Martian feels honored by the opportunity. Automatically, he puts on his Mr. Fix-it hat, listens for a few beats, and then offers some jewels of advice. This Martian custom is one of the reasons men instinctively offer solutions when a woman talks about her feeling or about her problems. Venusians have different values. Their sense of self is defined through their feelings and the quality of their relationships and their communication. They experience fulfillment through sharing and relating. Communication is of primary importance. To share their feelings is much more important than achieving success or goals. Talking or relating to one another is a source of tremendous fulfillment. Instead of goal-oriented, women are relationship-oriented. They are more concerned with expressing their goodness, their caring, and their love. Venusians are very intuitive. They pride themselves on being considerate of the needs and feelings of others. A sign of love is to offer help and assistant to another Venusians without even being asked. Without this insight into the nature of men, it’s very easy for a woman to unknowingly and unintentionally hurt and offend the man she loves most. Love is magical, and it can last if we remember our differences.
爱之絮
设想男人是从火星上来的，女人是从金星上来的。很久以前的一天，火星人用望远镜张望远方时，发现了金星人，这匆匆一瞥把火星人信中沉睡的感情唤醒了。他们对这种感情从未知晓。坠入爱河的火星人很快发明了太空旅行，飞往金星。金星上的女人张开双臂迎接他们的到来。火星男人与金星女人之间的爱情真是奇妙。他们愉快地共同生活，一起工作，同甘共苦，他们都忘了彼此来自不同的星球，忘了本应具有的差异。一天早晨，火星人和金星人完全忘却了彼此的不同。也就是从那天起，冲突开始在男人和女人之间发生。 女人抱怨男人***多的地方是男人不会倾听。当女人说话时，男人不是完全不理睬，就是稍听片刻，掂量一下困扰女人的问题，然后自傲地抛给女人一个解决的办法以安慰她就算完事。无论女人抱怨了多少次，说他没有倾听，他就是不动，依然故伎重演。女人需要同情，可男人以为她需要的是解决办法。 男人***常抱怨女人总是试图改造自己。女人爱上男人时，便觉得帮助他成长是自己的责任，并尽力想帮助男人改进做事的方式。女人成立了家庭促进会，而男人就是首要目标。无论男人怎样拒绝她的帮助，女人都一再坚持，伺机帮助他或是告诉他该做什么。女人以为自己是在调教男人，而男人却觉得自己被控制了。男人崇尚权力、个人能力和成功。他们本是以取得成功的能力作为给自己的定义。对他们而言，实现目标举足轻重，因为这能证明他们自身的能力，会让他们有良好的感觉。而男人要向自我感觉不错，就必须***自主地去的种种成功。 在男人看来，不请自来的建议就是认为他们不知道该做什么，不能凭***的力量获取胜利。他们对此很恼火，因为个人能力对他们非常重要。然而，如果男人确实需要帮助，取得帮助也是明智的举措。在这种情况下，他会和一位自己很敬重地人谈论自己的困难。男人谈论困难就是请求他人提供意见。被请求的人因此会颇感荣幸，并颇其自然的抒发感想，听对方诉说，然后提供宝贵的建议。男人的这种习惯在一定程度上导致了他们在倾听女人谈论自己的情感和困惑时，本能地提供解决方案。 女人却对这些不重视。他们是在感情和与人相处的好坏以及交流中确定自我的感觉。女人在诉说感情和彼此联系中获得满足。交流对于她们直观重要，分担私人感情比达到目的重要的多，让她们获得满足感的巨大源泉之一就是交谈与联系。男人看中的是目的，女人看中的是关系。她们更在意对善意、友爱和关怀的表达。女人具有敏锐的直觉，能处处为他人的需求和情感着想使她们引以为豪的事。不经邀请而主动向同伴提供帮助，被她们看作是伟大的爱的展示。女人不洞悉男人的天性，就很容易在不知不觉中伤害了挚爱的男人。 爱精神奇妙而微妙。只有大家都记住男女之间的差异，爱情才会永恒。
------------------
...
| 
跨国外贸论坛
【返回跨国外贸论坛首页】 收藏本论坛 热门专题 热门帖子 
.
外贸英语 -> [英语]美文欣赏，中英对照，每日一帖（8）
您是本帖的第 1761 个阅读者
发帖时间 - 2009/3/23 12:35:00